


Many Meetings

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, Reincarnation, Sauriarty, Silly, Smauglock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 10:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3171059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Moriarty's big confrontation at the pool didn't go as planned.  Mainly, because the snipers he hired were all reincarnated dwarves, and one of the people they were aiming at was a reincarnated hobbit.</p>
<p>Of course, things only got more complicated from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Many Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> This was written quite a while ago, from a prompt at hobbitkinkmeme. 
> 
> _Pool scene at the end of series one, big, tense dramatic moment. Or it would be if Moriarty's pet sniper hadn't just had a big, dramatic, fluffy reunion with their hostage. That would be bad enough on its own, but then the rest of Moriarty's snipers glomped John and the whole thing sort of devolves into John and his sniper friends catching up while Sherlock and Moriarty sulk on the sidelines._  
>  Bonus points for:  
> \- Smauglock and Sarumoriarty  
> \- John and the rest having to come up with a reason why they know each other, with Sherlock and Moriarty teaming up to debunk every single one  
> \- The one excuse Sherlock and Moriarty will accept is 'we're all in the same D&D club'  
> \- Happy Bagginshield ending 
> 
> The story went slightly sideways of the prompt, but otherwise it follows it pretty well.

Thorin didn’t let his hands shake as he pointed his rifle at the man who could only be Bilbo. He had to time this right, had to make this just perfect.

He would not shoot his company’s burglar, but he had to make Moriarty think that he would.

Though Bilbo’s- now John Watson- reaction to getting the explosives off was amusing. He had no way of knowing that they’d rigged the vest with false explosives.

Yes, they might be mercenaries this life, but the Company had always cared about causes and good. They were contracted to Moriarty, but they didn’t have to let him win.

Thorin knew some of the members of the Company were getting impatient, as were- most likely- the three members of the tableau below.

So he called out the order to seize Moriarty, in Khuzdul. Fili and Kili appeared from behind Moriarty and pulled him down and away. The rest of them started breaking down their rifles.

Bilbo’s companion, Sherlock Holmes, started, but thankfully he didn’t shoot.

“We have him, Uncle,” Fili called up- thankfully in English.

Bilbo pushed himself up and moved over to Sherlock’s shoulder. “Is this your plan?” he asked.

“I didn’t have one,” Sherlock replied. “I thought…” he looked shaken. “John…”

Bilbo nodded and gently patted Sherlock’s arm. “I think you can lower the gun now,” he said reasonably.

“Are you sure?”

“Well, no, but no one has sniper rifles pointing at us right now. And if I can avoid being blown to bits, I’d like that.”

Thorin heard Balin snicker behind him. “Our hobbit hasn’t changed much, has he?”

“Not much, no,” Dwalin agreed. “Practical, and you can tell he tries so hard to be a respectable, still.”

“Considering that John Watson was a doctor in the army, I suspect that he’s had time to come to grips with his love for adventures,” Ori offered.

“Quite,” Thorin said. “Now let’s go meet our burglar once again.”

By the time they made their way down to the main floor, said burglar had grabbed his coat and gagged Moriarty with it. His friend had pulled out some handcuffs and cuffed the criminal.

“Sherlock, not too tight,” Bilbo said. He was eyeing Fili and Kili oddly, like he was sure he knew them, but he couldn’t quite recognize them.

Thorin didn’t blame him. Hobbits looked far more like humans did than dwarves- especially when as humans they were clean shaven.

Bilbo shook his head. “So, what do we do with him?” he asked the room at large.

“John…” Sherlock Holmes started.

“Sherlock, can we actually tie this man to any crimes? Honestly and truly? We- all of us here- know who he is and what he’s done. But we have no proof!”

“He’s right,” Thorin said. “We can’t prove he’s committed any crime.”

John started and turned to face him, realization and hope dawning.

Thorin smiled slightly. “Good to see you again, Halfling,” he said.

Sherlock frowned. “Does he call you that because of your height?”

That made their burglar pause. “I am not short, Sherlock!”

That was so blatantly untrue that everyone snorted or repressed chuckles- even the two men who had not known them before.

Their hobbit was still short. And he was smart enough not to press the point. “The fact remains, we don’t know what to do with Moriarty.” Then he frowned at the man. “I know you,” he murmured. “From… somewhere. Sometime.”

Thorin turned to look at the man. He didn’t seem familiar, but Bilbo might have met him after their quest.

Moriarty looked confused, then his eyes widened. Even behind the gag, he grinned. Then he winked- and kept the one eye closed.

Bilbo reeled back, snatching the gun out of Holmes’ hand and aiming at the criminal. The reaction had most of Thorin’s company scrambling for their own weapons.

Even Holmes, who clearly had no idea who Bilbo had been, reacted, setting himself behind Bilbo, guarding him. “John?”

“Sauron.” Bilbo snarled- in Westron. “I never met him, but I carried his ring for sixty years, and I knew him. Of course, I didn’t know it was his ring, not for nearly two decades after that, but I know you, Sauron!” he snarled at the man.

Thorin froze in shock. So did the rest of the Company- and then Sherlock did as well. “John? You know…” he shook his head and the language changed to Westron. “You were in Middle Earth?”

That was enough to break through the former hobbit’s fury. “Sherlock?” he asked.

Thorin took a deep breath. He had no idea who Sherlock Holmes had been, but he knew the name Sauron.

“Bilbo, are you sure?” he asked.

“As sure as I can be, seeing as I never actually met him,” Bilbo replied. “But he…” the former hobbit muttered something under his breath before glancing around. “The ring, the one that made me invisible when I wore it? It was his ring, the One Ring to rule all others.” Bilbo’s gaze grew haunted. “My cousin destroyed it, but not without great suffering.”

Moriarty’s gaze turned venomous. But he was gagged, thankfully, though Thorin thought he was cursing them.

Sherlock- and they really did need to find out who he was frowned. “So he was a dark lord in his past life, and now he is nothing more than a criminal, if a smart one. John, would you say he is… rather too dangerous?”

Bilbo frowned at his friend. “Sherlock, what are you thinking?”

“I am thinking he cannot be allowed to go free. None of us can contain him for the rest of his life, and we do not have the means to prove he is a criminal. I am thinking that we might have to do something… regrettable.”

Bilbo sighed. “No, Sherlock. We’ll find another way.”

“And if there isn’t another way? What then, Master Thief Barrel Rider? What then?”

Bilbo’s eyes went wide. “You…”

Sherlock turned and his gaze softened. “I didn’t know, not until you mentioned a ring that made you invisible. That was how you snuck past me, wasn’t it, John?”

Bilbo shook his head. “We are going to have a very, very long talk when this is done, Sherlock.”

Sherlock smirked. “I look forward to it. Just don’t take anything.”

Thorin frowned. “You knew each other?”

“You might say that,” Bilbo said. “Thorin, don’t do anything- and I mean anything- rash.”

Oh, that was not good.

“Hobbit…” Thorin growled.

“I was once known as Smaug,” Sherlock Holmes said.

**Author's Note:**

> And yes, I do need to end it there. Even now, the characters won't tell me what happens next. It's likely, though, that someONE (cough Thorin cough) attacks Sherlock, only to be blocked by John.


End file.
